Nadia's Confession.

I just am not being self-disciplined these days. I really don't have money, I'm not really studying, I practically get by, by bullshitting really good. I'm not losing weight anymore, my face is like a barrel of zits and acnes. If i was a dog, spot would be my name. Dotty would also do. Everything is all over the place. My schedules, my ambitions, my love and my people. Okay maybe you can scratch love and people, they're all good. I'm really in a mess right now. Apart of me feels like this underlining discontent is wholly because I do not have money and I do not have enough time to get the things I want done, done. Perhaps that is why I have been waking up in the middle of the night feeling like I can start my day. Before I realize, who in this bloody world starts their day at 4am. Some are just about to get home from shaking their asses. I have a disorder with myself. I am perpetually dissatisfied right now with everything. Not just being a let down, i've been let down by others. Some people are just too slow for my pace and some people are just too consumed in themselves to open up and understand me. For whatever reasons, I can't pinpoint this vague feeling of uncertainty. I think somewhere along the lines of being myself, I lost purpose.